I'd never seen him like thatHe said, 'I miss my...
I'd never seen him like thatHe said, 'I miss my daughter' I said, 'Where is she?' I knew he always knew where she wasHe'd been going to see her in hiding for yearsI believe he saw her frequentlyHe said, 'She's dead, Jerry' I didn't believe him at firstIt was to throw me off the track, I thoughtI thought he must have just seen her somewhereI thought, He's still going to wherever she is and treating this killer like his own child--this killer who is now in her forties while everybody she killed is still killedBut then he threw his arms around me and he just let go, and I thought, Is it true, the family's fucking monster's really dead? But why is he crying if she's dead? If he had half a brain, he would have jumbo chanel flap bag realized that it was just too extraordinary to have a child like that--if he had half a brain, he would have been enraged by this kid and estranged from this kid long agoLong ago he would have torn her out of his guts and let her goThe angry kid who gets nuttier and nuttier--and the sanctified cause to hang her craziness onCrying like that--for her? No, I couldn't buy itI said to him, 'I don't know whether you're lying to me or you're telling me the truthBut if you're telling me the truth, that she's dead, it's the best news I ever heardNobody else is going to say this to youEverybody else is going to commiserateBut I grew up with youI talk straight to youThe best thing for you is for her to be deadShe did not belong tiffany cross to youShe did not belong to anything that you wereShe did not belong to anything anyone isYou played ball--there was a field of playShe was not on the field of playShe was nowhere near itShe was out of bounds, a freak of nature, way out of boundsYou are to stop your mourning for herYou've kept this wound open for twenty-five yearsAnd twenty-five years is enoughKeep it open any longer and it's going to kill youShe's dead? Good! Let her goOtherwise it will rot in your gut and take your life too' That's what I told himI thought I could let the rage out of himHe couldn't let it goI said this guy was going to get killed from this thing, and he did
Jerry said it and it happenedIt is Jerry's theory that the Swede is fendi spy bag replica nice, that is to say passive, that is to say trying always to do the right thing, a socially controlled character who doesn't burst out, doesn't yield to rage everWill not have the angry quality as his liability, so doesn't get it as an asset eitherAccording to this theory, it's the no-rage that kills him in the endWhereas aggression is cleansing or curing
It would seem that what kept Jerry going, without uncertainty or remorse and unflaggingly devoted to his own take on things, was that he had a special talent for rage and another special talent for not looking backDoesn't look back at all, I thoughtHe's unseared by memoryTo him, all looking back is bullshit-nostalgia, including even the Swede's looking back, chloe white twenty-five years later, at his daughter before that bomb went off, looking back and helplessly weeping for all that went up in that explosionRighteous anger at the daughter? No doubt that would have helpedIncontestable that nothing is more uplifting in all of life than righteous angerBut given the circumstances, wasn't it asking a lot, asking the Swede to overstep the limits that made him identifiably the Swede? People must have been doing that to him all his life, assuming that because he was once upon a time this mythic character the Swede he had no limitsI'd done something like that in Vincent's restaurant, childishly expecting to be wowed by his godliness, only to be confronted by an utterly ordinary bag chloe paddington humann